I don't often do minimalist art, but the results do often surprise me when I try. For my Inktober challenges, I prefer to force myself out of my artistic comfort zone. Animals and cartoon creatures were always easier for me. To challenge myself, I draw more complex subjects like humans. My own characters specifically. But this little cheetah reminded me...
For NaNoWriMo, starting November first, I cannot set out to create a polished and beautiful 50k word first draft. I must take the minimalist approach. Like the spots and disconnected lines on my cheetah, much is left up to the imagination, but the impression is there.
The preset NaNo Week 6 Prep was all about creating a writing schedule. Since I don't struggle to make free time to do this, I'm instead going to encourage myself and others to take a deep breath—release themselves from lofty expectations that can hinder the journey.
Though I have done planning exercises and explored the characters and world I want to create for Pencil Pricks, most of the details are still unknown. The characters need to evolve and grow fluidly on the page. No amount of planning can achieve this. Stumbling over scenes and reframing dialogue and motives is part of future beauty.
This week, I'm equating my story plot and characters to a plot of overgrown land. This land is covered in weeds and rocks with mixed clay soil underneath. Before it can become a flourishing garden, I need to clear the debris.
In my case, the "weeds and rocks" are mental blockades:
- trepidation
- self-doubt
- defeatist attitudes
- comparisons
- inner lies that tell me "I'm not able to write this"
Once I deal with the mental weeds (hourly, if necessary), I'm ready to deal with the soil itself. Do I need to add compost (a richer goal or motivation)? What plants (characters and subplots) do I want to grow here? Do I want to add bold pops of color (unpredictable plot twists) or stick to a defined palette (safer but understandable roadblocks)? What finished product (overall message or feelings) do I want my garden to produce inside those who experience it?
My greatest allies are these:
- Looking at my own finished works (short stories, novels, previous NaNo challenges)
- Examining other areas of life where I doubted myself but succeeded in some form
- Visiting places that inspire me
- Hiking in nature just to listen to the wind rustle leaves off the trees
- Reading articles or connecting with others who are also writing for NaNoWriMo
- (This is the biggest one) Allowing myself to get frustrated
The more I study about faith, life, and creating healthy relationships, the more I have to remind myself that no feelings are good or bad. Feelings are tools that connect us to our past and potentially each other—when we use them well. These tools help us respond in healthier ways than we did before, if we choose to use them as learning experiences.
To grow into a kinder, gentler, more understanding person, I've been focusing on how to deepen my relationships with the people around me. This process can be painful and messy, especially where family is concerned, but the work is important to me. It's easier to cross my arms and write someone off when they hurt me. Moving toward them with grace? Owning my tiny part of the argument/disagreement/unkind words?
That's difficult.
It takes a counter-cultural brand of humility to knock down our own entitlement and pave a path toward healing a relationship. Not all relationships should be healed if someone's intentionally toxic. But for those every day wounds? Those closest to us who cut us deeply, intentionally or not? It's natural to think they should know better, that they should be ashamed. We judge them much harsher than we judge ourselves and our own motives. But what if there was more to their story? Other people have reasons. As my pastor often says, "Hurting people hurt people." This idea helps me understand not only the protagonists in my stories, but also the "villains."
My main character in Pencil Pricks is a hurting person who hurts herself (low self-esteem/uncertain, etc.) She's proud of her progress until something (someone) comes along and wrecks it. This bumps into her pride that she was finally starting to figure things out. This type of pride in her accomplishments isn't bad. How she uses it for resentment to protect herself is.
Pride is humility's ultimate foe. But prideful people are rarely kind and compassionate unless they have something to gain. Credibility with onlookers, tax write-offs, etc.
Whoever said kindness is weakness has never tried to forgive someone for a sabotaged season of life (think of a child who had a neglectful/alcoholic/abusive parent) that can't be replaced.
But those are the feelings and themes I want to speak loudest in Pencil Pricks. Yes, I want it to be a comedy. Yes, my character is a young woman who struggles with anger and forgiveness. And yes, the people who hurt her don't look or act like they deserve to be forgiven. That's the point. We all need reminders that grudges are festering, wretched parasites. We can think we hold power over someone by refusing to forgive, but that bitterness trickles into other areas of life. Future relationships.
My character needs to either learn or learn to apply forgiveness to get her "happy ending." It takes intentionality, and it hurts. If at the end of NaNo, I feel like I've laid the groundwork for my character to overcome her struggles, and I just have to do some more weeding? That will be a huge win.
My tools are these:
compassion/empathy/kindness (Jesus tools) > apathy/grudges/entitlement (world tools)
These are choices we all make on a daily basis. Do we move in someone's direction when they hurt us, or do we close ourselves off? My main character, Cia, has a lot of unlearning and rebuilding to do. By the end of her journey, she'll have a garden of her own. May all you fellow authors enjoy working your gardens, no matter what stories you tell.
Keep on smilin'!
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