When I get past the midpoint of November, still working on a brand new novel, the stress from the upcoming holidays threatens to derail my creativity. If I let them, those impending "what if's" can paralyze me into spinning my wheels.
What if I forget something at the store?
What if a family member changes plans at the last second?
What if my house isn't clean enough?
I forgot to invite someone...
I get sick...
And the list goes on.
At this point, I know I'm being ridiculous. Reaching into the future to try and control outcomes does nothing but bring the stress of those scenarios into my present. Future troubles are meant for the future, and I know God only gives me the capacity to handle today's troubles. I can prepare for the future, but worrying about outcomes will inhibit my ability to live today well. I know this. But I still do this.
One of the paths to break this cycle is to focus on creative endeavors I can complete today. A sketch. Writing a new chapter in a book. Editing a chapter in an old one. Vacuuming one room or floor until I have time to do the rest. Buying the nonperishable ingredients for the dishes I plan to make ahead of time.
But the creative outlets help me the most.
I recently pulled my cool grey markers out of the closet and ran a few of them over a horse sketch. I didn't expect any exceptional results, but the outcome turned into one of my most simplistic but appealing pieces from the past month.
Why? I stopped worrying about creating the "perfect" piece. I stopped borrowing the "what if" future stress and just let myself create.
How different would the holidays be if I took on that same attitude? If I go into them tense, expecting to put out fires or focusing on what I do wrong, I stifle my own ability to focus on what is going right.
Easier said than done of course, but I want to try. This will be the third Thanksgiving without my dad and sister's family at the table, and that's okay. I plan to focus on who does show up to the table—the people who do want to be part of my story. I'm blessed to have each and every one of them. Those lives are far more precious than any trivial mishaps.
If I can radiate peace and love onto everyone at the table, I'll call that a win. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
Keep on smilin'!
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